Dr. Tim Elmor is a leading specialist on ways to understand the next generation and how to prepare today our tomorrow’s leaders. He is a best-selling writer, international speaker, as well as Founder and President of Growing Leaders, which is a nonprofit organization that helps future leaders developing, starting from the idea that every child is born with leadership abilities.
Dr. Tim Elmor wrote more than 25 books, including “Generation iY: Our last chance to save their future”, “Artificial Maturity: Helping kids meet the challenges of becoming authentic adults”, but also the “Habitudes” series. Tim debates about the parents mistakes that prevent their child to become a leader.
Not letting the child to experience risks and doing everything we can in order to protect him have an undesirable effect upon the child. We are blinded by the fear of losing our kid, but he needs to play outside, experiencing a skinned knee in order to develop normally, without phobias. He must gain his independence and thrive into a leader, which is why he needs to fall a few times, to know how to rise up. Also, breaking ups will help him appreciate the emotional maturity required by a long lasting relationship. If the parents overprotect the children, they will become arrogant adults with low self-esteem.
Likewise, rescuing them too quickly and solving their problems will make them become helpless, always requiring assistance and salvation.
Neither criticizing the children for the smallest mistakes won’t help them at all, nor bringing them compliments too easily. Children will notice if their parents are the ones who congratulate them, they will begin to doubt the justice of their parents and will start to cheat, lie and overstate, avoiding the challenging reality.
Spoiling the children is another often error the parents do. When rewarding the children, the parents don’t refuse them anything and this fact will increase the children’s belief that they will get everything they want without fight. The kids have to struggle for what they value and they really need. Also, if the relationship between parents and children is based on material rewards, the children will not get to encounter unconditional love and the intrinsic motivation.
The parents have to share their past mistakes, advise them and talk about their experiences, feelings, the lessons they have learn after not making the best choices. The parents must let the kids do their own mistakes, but they have to be by their side and prepare them to deal the consequences of their actions.
It is the responsibility of the parents to form the children, assist them lead an honorable life, becoming reliable and responsible for their words and choices. The parents must be the best influence for their kids, a model of sincerity, rightness and liability, so the children will learn and follow their example.